Friday, December 21, 2007

It's MY Wedding Anyways, Isn't It?

I have long read about over involved MOB's, FMIL's, and statement-making BM's. The mantra "Whose Wedding Is It Anyways" that circulates amongst brides-to-be.
YET - in my case - it seems to be the complete opposite. And it bothers me slightly (well, more than slightly at certain times).
Cases in Point:
* MOB - My mother. What to say about her. Hardworking, independent, modern-day career woman. Not quite motherly at all, yet I had hoped her first daughter getting married would spark some interest in the participating. Her only requests to date so far have been 1) "I don't want to make a speech. Don't make me get up and talk in front of everyone!", and 2) "Give me an itemized list for your budget." That's it. She didn't want to go dress shopping with me - "What do I know? You and I have different tastes." She has no interest in the details - "Pick what you want according to the budget."
* MOH - BFF. A fellow bride-to-be, with an earlier wedding date, who has yet to pick most of any of the details for her own wedding. I will be holding her hand as her MOH for the next few months and pushing her along to get things done. To no fault of her own, this lady owns her own pharmacy business and works another job on Saturday. She is just not capable of doing a lot of things most MOH's do.
* BM#1 - My SiSTeR. I love her to death. She is one of the most precious things in the world to me. However, and this is a big one, she is 8 yrs younger than me, AND a sophomore at an out-of-state university notorious for their parties. Thus, quite self-absorbed in her own life and not one to ask a lot of wedding questions or care about "duties" of a BM. I understand - she's at that point in her life.
* BM#2 - Has a plethora of drama in her life, and though quite attentive to my wedding chitter-chatter, has a lot more to talk about regarding her own issues. And I am the girl who listens and dishes out advice.
* BM#3 - A recent bride herself, she takes interest and gives advice. However, BM#3 is a victim of MAJOR FMIL interference in her wedding. Since she worked approx. 12hr days the entirety of her engagement, she basically let her FMIL plan and expedite the entire destination wedding and does not have much advice to give.
* FMIL & FSIL - Have been through their "BIG" wedding planning with FSIL's wedding several years ago. I think they are pretty much over it after that event (which I am told was approx. 400 people). Not much input except an uncomfortable discussion about our engagement rings (directed at me - pertaining to size and prices). That's an entirely other post I may write about soon.

And then there is the GROOM. My Groom. The one who has been putting in crazy hours at work the past few months as people have been laid-off and he is picking up additional files. The one who is uber laid back, a total guys-guy. Only firm condition from him is "My guys and I WON'T wear PINK.". Anything else, he lets me choose and decide. "Whatever you want beautiful."

Although this complaint list may seem unfounded - I feel like I am all alone in this process. No one else seems to really care about any of the details. For my very practical family - a ring, a minister, any white dress, uncles with cameras, and some phone call invites would suffice.

Is it strange that I would want some more people to be a tad bit over-involved? Maybe because of other weddingbee posts that show that all this "over-involvement" is just proof of love and care? But on the other hand, I fear the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for." and try to make peace with who I have.